Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Good enough for now...

That's the phrase I recite to myself all day long, "it's good enough...for now."  This is the state of mind with which I'm living in---and will likely be in---for awhile.

Jack had his appointment with the failure to thrive clinic last week---it went well, considering our fears going in.  Jack is 5 1/2 months now and at his appointment he weighed 11lbs, 6 oz (a 1/2 oz gain in 2 weeks)We still have no answers...but we have some direction, a plan of sorts.  Jack showed off and flashed smiles, giggled and just talked up a storm.  We heard the same things "he looks amazing!", "he's on track", "his physical exam presents no concerns."  All incredibly awesome things to hear.  They spoke of three potential causes off the top of their heads---1.)problems with his reflux (ie: the medicine is no longer working and that could somehow be hindering weight gain)  2.) he has a higher metabolic rate and therefore needs far more calories (there's no way to test for this) 3.)There could be a problem with how his body is absorbing nutrients.

So, we go back in about a week with a stool sample to test for problems concerning proper absorption and in the meantime we are continuing supplementing after every nursing session, only this time we were given a equation to concentrate the calories (think more powder, less water) in an effort to see if a higher calorie intake is necessary.

After months of feeling like I was doing something wrong, I left this appointment feeling respected as a parent and felt like I was heard, really heard.  I needed that.  I needed to hear from a medical professional that I wasn't ruining my child--and that there were several plausible explanations.  I'm hoping the addition of calories will bring a high weight gain and that a higher metabolic rate really is to "blame." 

In the meantime, fall activities have started up---the Mr. is still working two jobs---and the toddler is in the midst of those "terrible twos" that we have heard so much about.  Life around here is challenging right now, and that's putting it lightly!

So, for now...our motto is "it's good enough for now."  I'm fighting hard against comparing myself to all those fictional moms who "have it all together" and focusing on what really matters in this season of life---and right now, that's getting and keeping Jack healthy.

And what about all those other things I talk about so often?  Well, to be honest....I haven't used a coupon since July--true story!  And you know what, it's been a nice break and because of our couponing efforts in previous months, we also haven't done hardly any grocery shopping---except for perishable items.  Let me tell you, that's such a welcome relief to have "one less thing to worry about"  In coming months I'm going to have to "jump back in" to couponing to re-build our stockpile, but for now...we're enjoying the fruits of our labor.

As for a cleaning schedule....that went out the window when Jack was born and I haven't made my way back to it.  Our house doesn't get as "deep cleaned", dusted, or vacuumed a week as I'd like it to....but the "good enough for now" principle applies here as well.  I want us back on a schedule, and we'll get there...because it does make life easier...but for now, it's ok if the bedrooms don't get dusted one week....or we only grab the vacuum when we have animal cookie heads to sweep up.

And the cloth diapers?  That is one that has stuck!  Aside from church events and Jack overnight--our kids are in cloth diapers full time.  Yes, it's a bit more work....but it's something that is forcing me to slow down a bit and enjoy the one on one time with my kids---even if it is during a diaper change.  We've been rapidly adding to our stash without spending more money and I've been working to convert some very well-loved diapers.  I'd love to do a whole post on that....someday.

With three more Doctor's appointments on the calendar before the end of the month, my husband's long work-hours and two little ones that seem a little "high-needs" these days, I'm working hard to accept that "good enough for now" is really "exceptional for now!"  I pray if you find yourself in discouraging, hectic or stressful circumstances that you too would find the peace that comes from letting some things just....go

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