Friday, May 13, 2011

"Clean up on aisle 4!"

The other day I was determined to make my first trip to the store with both children in tow & only one set of adult hands. I know, it’s pretty pathetic that it’s taken six weeks to even make the attempt, but before Jack, we ran any errands we had on a Friday evening or Saturday afternoon together as a family. Since Jack, we’ve lived on our stockpile & any trips out have been quick ones with my husband….or a last-minute mad dash to the store before dinner, courtesy of my husband.

It was time & I was determined (which is really code for stubborn.) I picked a terrible day to attempt this challenge. Both kids were grumpy, Lucy had refused a nap & lunch. I loaded Jack into his car seat immediately after a feeding & we trudged off to the store anyways. I managed to get both kids and the diaper bag into the cart (which left room for about two canned goods to be purchased…) & we started walking in.

Then it started to sprinkle. I got halfway to the entrance and realized I had put Lucy in a cart without a seatbelt…which wasn’t going to work given her current mood. We got inside and I unloaded both kids & the diaper bag and RE-LOADED them into a new cart. Mrs. B walks five steps…Right about that time Jack starts vomiting in his car seat. My fault for strapping him in right away, but I was trying to make the most of our time between feedings. I wipe him up with a blanket, because by this point the diaper bag is inaccessible. More vomit…then hysterical baby cries….Mrs. B walks faster. About this time the “mommy tears” are on the verge of eruption…but I’m determined not to be “that” mom. (Which is silly, because I clearly am THAT mom…)

I add the first item to our cart…which Lucy abruptly tosses out while I’m looking at something else. I relocate the first item and add it back to the cart. Lucy starts crying then spits out of her pacifier because she thinks I can’t hear the fact that she is crying. Now all of Wal-Mart can hear her crying. Mrs. B keeps shopping and waves to all the adoring fans now staring at the entertainment that she and her two little ones are providing. I grab the rest of the items on my list and I head for the check-out. I price match the items I need, pay the bill & head for the door.

Now I’ve lost my keys. I unload both kids AGAIN, and the items in the cart, and dig through my diaper bag, Jack’s car seat and any other place they could have ran off to. IF people weren’t staring before, they definitely are now… “Oh, hey look…there’s a young mom with two kids screaming…who looks like she’s about to lose it….and why are her grocery sacks scattered all over the floor?”

I locate the keys, load everyone/everything back up and we head for the car. I buckle the kids in, swear I’ll never do that again & head for home. We arrive home, both kids are put to bed and I do what any mother in this situation would do.

I ignore the screaming and eat the last brownie DIRECTLY out of the pan.

…and I make no apologies for it.

1 comment:

  1. I would've eaten the last 5 brownies directly out of the pan!