I like to shop.
I enjoy new things.
I appreciate the feeling of nice clothing on my body & expensive make-up on my face.
Back when I was enjoying these new items on someone else's dime (I was in college and my parents were generous!) & when I was a single person with "extra" cash in the budget, I indulged myself....often.
Enter marriage, babies & a drastically different budget and the days of purchasing a new item are long gone. Truthfully, giving up shopping for nice/new things never even bothered me. They weren't needs, just wants....and what we "need" is every possible penny going towards making ends meet. Besides, since we discovered we were expecting three months after the "I dos", maternity clothes had to be purchased...and then kids clothes.....and then the heat bill needed to be paid....
Somewhere along the line, my favorite Banana Republic jeans got replaced with maternity jeans will the large stretchy panel. My favorite shoes were given away because my feet actually grew AFTER having children. Flattering sweaters and shirts have long been tucked away to make room for clothes to nurse in & in sizes that fit the "I've had two babies in less than two years" figure. Where my favorite Victoria's Secret credit card once held a spot in my wallet you'll now find a coupon for .50 off flour tucked away instead.
And it's ok, truthfully, because through this whole evolution I understand needs versus wants. I understand that we need food on the table & that I want a pair of jeans that fit (without the maternity panel). I understand that my kids need clothes, shoes & immunizations & that I want to replace the items that read "maternity clothes" with items that fit and don't leave others questioning, "is she? again?! so soon?!"
I understand that no amount of "losing the baby weight" will ever get me back to my "pre-pregnancy figure." Two pregnancies & deliveries of 9lb+ babies made sure of that.
In the meantime, I'll treasure my precious kids that brought me to this point and learn to be content in my husband's sweats and maternity gear...even if I am 7 months post-partum.....
...because someday, there might be a little extra "guilt free" money to spend on a new pair of jeans, a compact of make-up, a colorful cardigan or a bag that doesn't just hold diapers.
And I'm okay waiting for that day.