So perhaps this post is a little...late? To be honest, I wasn't really feeling very thankful leading up to the actual holiday & I'm not sure I'm loaded with thanksgivings right now either.
Now, I am thankful that my family is healthy, my babies are growing (the one on the outside and the one tucked inside for a few more months!), my husband loves me, my marriage is stronger today than it was last year, & right now I'm even thankful to go to bed at night with a clean house.
But to be thankful in the "everday" things, that's where I'm seeming to struggle. I've always been the one to see small blessings in our lives even when our bank account sat empty. I've been the encourager when we had to wait to pay one bill because there was only enough to pay some of the bills. I've even been the one to get really excited when we have money in our bank account at the end of the month, even if it's only a few dollars.
But the truth is, we are not poor. In relation to the world we live in....my husband and I live in such abundance, it's ridiculous that I even consider using the term "we're broke". Don't be fooled, we have heat, a tree with soon-to be presents underneath, meat in our freezer, and an occassional ice cream treat. But, it's a common phrase lately...from our mouths & other mouths. And, that terminology can just leave you feeling REALLY defeated.
November was a tough month, a kick in the face to be brutally honest. Between a lack of pay from my job for the two week vacation I took, a mis-hap in not paying the utility bill from last month, a broken car, broken glasses, etc...it was just a rough month financially. We live on a meager budget (like most we know) & are in a position to have "enough" to just get by. We came home from a wonderful (& budgetted for) vacation....and it's like November chose to take away that joy upon our return. I won't even get into what happened when a certain company turned us into collections saying we owed them $450 for equipment we had RETURNED. (No worries, a government consumer protection agency cleared this up for us a few weeks later)
I spent several evenings in November feeling anything but thankful. We were doing the BEST we could with what we had, why did I feel so...forgotten? Now, maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, but I spent a few nights in tears spilling my fears to my husband. He, in turn, kept telling me not to worry about tomorrow. (Ironic role reversal as these were the same things I was saying to him last year...)
And then as November came to a close, I recognized my failure in all of this---something I have avoided quite often. My faith was being put in our bank account, and not in My GOD. I was being blessed ALL around and I couldn't see it because of that small bank total I kept focusing on. My husband and I typically pour out praise over small things when we can see God's hand in it & I was NOT recognizing those things...and had not been for sometime.
So as December started, I did just that....
-We praised God that our in-laws had loaned us their car...and praised him again when my dad volunteered to fix my husband's car, for free.
-We praised God when we found ourselves blessed with several 20% off diaper coupons to amazon & stocked up on diapers for Lucy at the cheapest prices imaginable
-We praised God when we discovered our tree was one of the few decorations that escaped damage during flooding in our garage this winter...even if our ornaments weren't so lucky
-We praised God when he blessed a family member with incredible understanding about our delay in re-paying them
-We praised God when a bill was resolved & a subsequent refund check was sent to our home
-We praised God when my husband fixed his glasses with a popsicle stick
-We praised God when we decorated our home for Christmas with flannel fabric and art canvas
-We praised God when I was able to find items to fill my husband's stocking for free after coupons
-We praised God when we filled our freezers with meals for the next month or so, meat included :)
-We praised God when my current boss for my work at home job emailed me about an additional project she needs help on...that will add around $600 of income a month if it works out...even if it is just a possibility at the moment
-We praised God, not our bank account.
It's all too easy to put our faith in money, possessions, people, job stability, etc....and, oh, what a beating my heart took when I allowed it off course. And what a blessing it is to be getting back to faith in God alone, not our bank account, to provide for our needs....over & over again...
my husband pointed out that I had disallowed anonymous comments, that has now been resolved!